Think of unpaid carers this Christmas

When I was little and I couldn’t sleep my mum used to say to me, think of all those working at night, nurses, doctors, firefighters, she did not say, think of all the unpaid carers. Maybe they aren’t thought of as working at night (Kier Starmer doesn’t even think of us as workers but volunteers). They don’t just work one night every so often but every night of the year, despite the fact they’ve probably worked all day also. This isn’t just one year of their life whilst caring for an older relative but 5, 10, 20, 30 years when caring for a younger relative. They aren’t rostered for night or day shifts as paid workers are, “3 nights on, 2 nights off” type of thing. Even if they are not up during the night, they are on standby/on call, every day and night of the year, year after year. This continuous working shift impacts their ability to switch off and sleep. It impacts their health. This isn’t rest. Rostered for a never ending shift, unlike paid workers. Any worker, whether a volunteer (as the government likes to call us) or a paid/employed worker should be treated with respect and dignity. One is, one isn’t. Why?

There is no day off in lieu of a holiday, no getting an extra day off if you work overtime, if you go out of hours, if your work period creeps into your day off. There is no day off. It just becomes one continuous shift with little or no time to rest. For many there is no time for any life of your own because many are left, “made” to volunteer 90 + hours a week (allowance for some of £81.90 a week only regardless of hours worked).

Do people, the government, past and present, just think of unpaid carers as 'making a cup of tea, sorting out the washing and getting a bit of shopping'? It is so much more than that. You are lucky if you can find time for cleaning, that’s normally done if you do get a window of opportunity for some “me time”. Respite for many (if lucky enough to get any) often revolves around sorting the house out, shopping, cleaning, and the never ending admin. Plus, even on respite you are still on call, could be needed at any minute, still being called for advice, still answering the phone to medical professionals. There is no such thing as an actual day off.

Unpaid carers have become one person's nurse, therapist, advocate, cleaner, cook, administrator, day and night staff (*sometimes caring for more than one). They provide 24-hour around-the-clock care, every day of the year, with an ever-increasing workload, as more and more is expected of them due to the social care system remaining broken and no one addressing unpaid carers rights, or the harm that is being done to them. By that I mean, ability to sleep, to go to their own medical appointment, to have some time for a life of their own, which impacts their own health both physical and mental.

Often, they’re one person doing the work of 'several people'. In a care home, school or college, this level of work would not be left to one person. You would not expect one person in any of those settings to do a never-ending shift, yet the government and past governments are happily leaving unpaid carers to it. It would be deemed unsafe and illegal in any other environment. In a care home, college, school environment you’d need two to do medicines, two to lift and you’d make sure everyone had their legal entitlement to rest to ensure they were safe to work (drive, use complex medical equipment, administer meds). You’ll hear workers stating, “I’m working Christmas, but happy with that as three days off after”, or “I’m working Christmas got new year off”. You don’t hear that with unpaid carers, you’ll just here, “I’m working the whole year through”, and “the year after, and the year after that”. “No, I don’t know when I’ll next get a day off.”

Unpaid carers cannot prioritise their own needs. Thinking they’ve time for a shower only to leap out midway through, as the person they care for needs help, trying to time your own toilet trips, for when you think “it’s safe to go” often having to rush as the person you care for needs you urgently and doesn’t understand your need for the loo. Literally having to do personal care mid way through your meal, resulting in you often shoving meals down, or not eating or drinking for long periods because there is no opportunity (or you know you won’t get chance to go to the toilet for some time).

This Christmas, this new year, think of those unpaid carers working never-ending shifts, who will not get a day off, not get an opportunity to catch up with friends or family at a later date, who can't go to the pub, for a walk, to the Panto. Those unpaid carers who are literally being worked into the ground by governments past and present who just turn a blind eye.

Think of those unpaid carers, the ones that dash out of the house without being able to brush their hair, who can't have even an hour a day to themselves. Who’ve lost who they are. And who’ve given up on who they are.

Think of the unpaid carers and ask the government to address their failures, to fix the social care system, thus, to stop relying on unpaid carers to hold up the system every hour of every day.

When you have to justify the need for time off through a process of assessments then something is very wrong with the system and the way we treat unpaid carers. As a paid worker imagine sitting in front of a social worker who says, “why is it you think you need four hours help a week”. “Oh, to go shopping”. “Well, can’t you do that online”. “Oh, you need 6 hours a week to attend your own medical appointment”? “No, we can’t do that, direct payments have to benefit the actual person not you”. “oh, you need time to sleep, why’s that?”

There seems to be a disconnect with people assessing you (and the government) as to why a unpaid carer of a relative needs to be able to sleep, shower, go to a doctors appointment. Imagine the same was asked to them on their first day of work, “tell me, why is it you need to go home at 6pm”. “Tell me, why is it you need to go to a medical appointment”. “You aren’t benefitting the firm if you do that”.

They should have a responsibility to ensure all paid or unpaid workers *volunteers are treated with the same level of respect and dignity. So that unpaid carers can have a chance to be a person in their own right, not exploited, not a modern day slave (unpaid carers have lost their freedoms, exploited by the government and others). Someone needs to open their eyes to the reality of the treatment of many unpaid carers. A pat on the back on carers day does not suffice. A “make sure you look after yourself” from some carers charities and others illustrates ignorance as to the reality of caring. Some are even safeguarded when they ask for help, when they say they are beyond exhausted. Thus, creating fear, silencing many from asking for help. It is cruel. It is not ok.

Without doubt we love our relatives but it should not been unpaid carers are exploited, living in fear of doing something wrong, not “working hard enough”, “not able to reach out for help” unable to have time for anything that is important to them. They should at the very least have time to do things the human body requires to function (sleep, exercise, eat, drink, shower, go to the toilet).

*Anti-Slavery International, we define modern slavery as when an individual is exploited by others, for personal or commercial gain. Whether tricked, coerced, or forced, they lose their freedom. This includes but is not limited to human trafficking, forced labour and debt bondage.